IMG_0621A few weeks ago I attended a full moon sound bath meditation with a friend, on the last full moon of 2019. We were asked towards the end of the session to think of a word that we wanted to reflect and meditate on for 2020, a word that we would carry into the year and focus on in the coming days and months ahead. I chose RENEW. I don’t know how or why that word came to me in that moment, but it felt right.

So instead of a New Year’s resolution for 2020, I am choosing a word: RENEW/RENWAL.

Renew means: to make new: restore to freshness, vigor or perfection; to make new spiritually: regenerate; to restore to existence: revive; to make extensive changes in: rebuild.

2019 was a rollercoaster of year. I started a new job (30 hours a week) mid-January. A month into that job Chase, Jr. got very ill. What started as strep and flu turned into two hospital visits and two months of agonizing and desperate searching for answers as to what was going on with his poor little immune system. I finally called on a dear friend, mentor and angel who helped us figure it out and get Chase back on track.

*Long story short, what I believe happened, the stem cells he had done in November 2018 kick-started his immune system from a state of auto-immune (suppressing any viruses or illnesses for years) into a functioning ready-to-fight immune system. All the things that had been suppressed were finally coming to surface and being dealt with by his body and it was taking a toll. He missed seven weeks of school, lost twelve pounds (that he didn’t have to lose) and basically lived on our couch for two months barely able to move, eat or drink. We ended up treating him for Epstein-Barr Virus (EBV) with a homeopathic protocol, from April to September, and within a week of starting he finally turned a major corner and we could see the light at the end of the tunnel. A month or two after Chase was on the mend my dad got a diagnosis of prostate cancer. While his number and prognosis were good, all things considered, it’s still not something anyone wants to hear or go through. It was a scary time all around.

God carried us through the valley though, with the help of amazing family and friends who stepped in to help so I could work, with meals, carpool, support and most importantly prayers!

We took a family trip to New York in July (the hottest weekend of the entire summer there), saw all the things and took the boys to a Yankees game, the highlight of the trip! My husband and I were so grateful and amazed at how well both boys did on that trip, but especially Chase. We walked MILES in the city, road in Ubers, navigated hot steamy subways and fought crowds all over the place. Chase went with the flow, took in all the sights, sounds and disgusting smells of the city and never seemed phased. It was not beyond us that this was not a reality we ever imaged a few short years ago. There was a time I never dreamed of flying on a plane to go anywhere, much less New York City!

Because of all the days missed from school in the spring, along with a number of other factors, we decided to hold Chase back and repeat 3rd grade this school year. School started off great! No drama, wonderful teachers and aids, amazing friends…and then the sickness started again around October and early November. It hasn’t been to the extent it was earlier this year, but a new crop of issues have risen that we are diligently searching for answers for and praying for guidance in treatment.

Where panic and desperation guided us last time, prayer and peace, that God will get us through this as well, are leading us this time around. While it’s never easy or fun to see your child suffer and regress, I know God has a healing hand in this journey with Chase and all of this is happening for a bigger purpose and reason.

So, all of this recap to say… the word RENEW just felt right for 2020. My focus and hope for this coming year is for renewed health, renewed spirituality, renewed relationships and renewed HOPE in Christ.

A few days ago, as I was thinking about my word for 2020 I decided to look up Bible verses that referenced the word renew/renewal. These two verses were the first to jump out at me and seemed so fitting and perfect…

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

This morning, as I was scrolling through Instagram looking at everyone’s New Year’s Eve pictures, resolutions, etc. I came across this photo, posted by our church, and was BLOWN AWAY! If this isn’t a sign from God I don’t know what is!?! 🙂


May 2020 bring you all peace, love, hope and RENEWAL as well!


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